The scripture this week urged us to set our minds on the things above, not on the things that are on Earth.  Our guest preacher Pastor Jonathan went on to say that the “things that are on Earth” are the sins, thoughts and practices that we are easily caught up in, our worst impulses. In verse 5 we are called further to not just “not focus” on these things but to “put them to death.” For me, I think negative self-talk truly is one of my worst impulses that I am easily caught up in. Negative self-talk causes me to disregard myself as a child of God and not trust that I am here on this Earth with the purpose and plan that God predestined for me. Furthermore, negative self-talk, for me at least, boils down to not giving myself the grace that God himself gives to me through his Son.

I had a rough week, and I’m not sure why. Maybe it was just the perfect storm of contributing factors or maybe I’m back on the cyclical depression wheel. It’s hard to tell this early in the game, though I am hoping it’s the former. The good thing about this week though is that I have truly felt and seen God working in me for what feels like the first time in a very long time. Not that He hasn’t been, but for whatever reason this is the first time I’ve gotten the message. You see it is very hard for me to think that it was just by coincidence that this week I had an epiphany (or maybe to better put it, was sent an epiphany) that not only perfectly tied in to this week’s sermon topic of meditation, but that I was also set to do the blog this week, which I have always seen as a way for me to really sit and meditate over the scripture and the sermon from that week. So yeah, I think God might want me to really start using meditation in my life. I digress, although you might have to stick with me here for just a second longer, I swear I will bring this back around.

My epiphany this week came in the midst of what I can only describe as the first depressive episode I have had in quite a few months, but it literally came like a lightning bolt. It was a thought so random and out of place from where I was at mentally at that point that I knew it could only have been put there by God. I realized the importance of positive self-talk. As someone who has always thought positive self-talk was a bit of hooey I have to say I was amazed at what an impact could be made on my state of mind by just repeating a positive mantra to and about myself over and over, forcing myself to say it until I believed it; And yes, by “say” I do mean I repeated my “mantra” out-loud repeatedly so that I probably sounded like a crazy person. I literally forced myself to say these things until those positive thoughts became stronger than the negative intrusive thoughts that kept trying to eke their way back in. The whole time it literally felt like a battle, and afterwards I was physically tired and drained, but despite this I immediately ran in and woke up my sleeping husband to tell him all about what just happened (and he is so sweet and ever supportive that he even said I was glad I woke him up to tell him, whether or not that was true) I couldn’t have imagined how relevant all of this would become just days later. God really does work in mysterious ways.

Our greatest sins and struggles as humans come from focusing our hearts and minds on the wrong things. As Pastor Jonathan put it, “ we are a meditative people.” We instinctively meditate on things to the point that those things permeate our hearts and minds. Unfortunately, because we are sinners, the things we naturally meditate and obsess over are things that are not good for us, or our hearts. If only we would use this already natural instinct of meditation to meditate over scripture, and how it shows us how God has moved and worked in the lives of his people, and how He moves and works in our lives as Christians today. If only we would read scripture over and over like a mantra until it’s purpose and meaning became clear and lovely to us, and moved from our minds into our hearts and the message of the gospel filled us to overflowing and spilled out like a river. If only we obsessed and meditated over the gospel and its meaning so much that it permeated every aspect of our lives. The fact is we can, but it will often feel like a battle. Thankfully, we are not alone in this battle. We have our brothers and sisters in Christ with whom we can share in these struggles. We also have prayer as a powerful tool, through which our groanings to deep for words can and will be heard. We also have the promise of the gospel, that through Christ’s death we have become God’s people and therefore we literally have God on our side helping us every step of the way.

God please help our meditations be on you and your word and not on our earthly impulses. Remind us that we have been raised with Christ, and help us to seek the things that are above, not on the things that are on earth. Please give us the same grace and patience with ourselves as you have for us as we fight this battle. In your name we pray. Amen.

~Rachel Whippo