“Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love.”-Revelation 2:4

“Have I left Christ?” It isn’t always obvious that we’ve forsaken Christ. Look at how the church in Ephesus is described: God knows their work, patience, labor, hatred for evil, perseverance, wearilessness in serving him… the list reads like a “Top 10 Things Christians Should Do” list. But somehow they’d missed the heart of the gospel. And I’m a lot like that: I get so wrapped up in doing things for God or feeling guilty for not working hard enough that I forget the point of doing anything. My lovelessness manifests itself in resentfulness or in just going through the motions every Sunday, sometimes even wondering why I bother being there.

The church in Ephesus is called to remember from where they have fallen, repent, and return to doing the first works. Do you remember your first love for Christ? Or other times in your life when you’ve served him not out of duty but out of joy? In John 15, Jesus tells us that abiding in him is the “secret” to loving him. He tells his disciples this in his last hours before he was betrayed and condemned to die. But how do we abide in Christ? And what first works were the Ephesians doing?

The answer runs throughout the Bible, but I usually overlook it because it seems so simple: pray and read God’s word. Let God’s word rest in us so that we know who God is and who we are, and pray because of that. In his last hours with his disciples, Jesus reminds them over and over again that he chose them, that he loves them, and that he is in complete control of the world. His biggest concern seems to be that they believe this and, believing it, ask anything in his name. The same theme is repeated at the beginning of Chapter 2 of Revelation. Christ reminds the church of Ephesus that he holds the whole universe in his hands and that he is in their midst.

I remember times in my life when I have loved Christ and rejoiced in him. And those times always centered around spending a lot of time reading the Bible, meditating on what it meant, and praying. But that’s hard to do! When does anyone have time to take 5 minutes to read a chapter a day, much less think about it and pray about it? Yet the purpose of this isn’t to add one more thing to a to-do list. The purpose of this is to rediscover our first love for Christ. Aren’t we all searching for joy? And isn’t that what God promises he will give to those who pursue him? Is my success at work worth it if I’m miserable? I’m reminded of Chesterton’s quote: “Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried”. This describes me exactly…

There’s no good way to finish this that doesn’t either sound like a cheesy or super-discouraging call to action… just try. Try pursuing God. He promises that he loves us and that he’s in control of our lives. So why not? Why not try praying more often? Or meditating on God’s word more often? Remembering that as often as we fail to love God or pursue him, he chose us and still loves us.